who’s winning?

Leave a comment September 5, 2015 - Monica -

Today, we watched a movie called the War Room. It is an amazing movie depicting everyday battles each marriage or household probably goes through. The time poor parents, the over worked spouse, the lost of that special family bond, lost of our love for our loved ones.

In today’s world, there are many distractions. From our careers, to a full day of activities be it for the kids or ourselves. Have we lost the idea of a good life? Or do we often only stop to rethink our priorities when things aren’t going to plan? When things are going wrong. What are we battling? Or rather who are we battling?

As you can tell this movie made me think. I won’t give away too much in case you wanted to watch it, but suffice to say, it did make me hunger and thirst for more of His grace, to spend more time in His presence.

You see in everything we do, we first need to remember we are first His child. This is a huge statement! This means we are His heirs! That’s an even bigger statement to make. But rightly so, because He did die for our sins, even when we were sinners. He did say that He has come to give us life and life abundant. So we truly need to believe that we have abundance, we need to celebrate this abundance, however at the same time remember that He must always be the first of our priorities.

The question that came to mind today was whom am I battling when things are going pear-shaped. Who is robbing me of my blessings? Who is stealing my joy? Who is stealing my time from the things that will bless me and my family?

It is the enemy; who comes to steal, kill and destroy. If you know this then you will know that your battles are not with a person, it is a battle with the evil. It is with the devil himself. The fallen one. And if we know this then we know that it is a battle that cannot be fought in the human flesh but only can be fought in the spiritual realm. It is a battle of spirits. And the only way we can do this and win it,  is to submit to God. He is the only One that can fight this battle! We need only to submit. We need only to ask. We need only to seek. We need only to knock. Ask according to His will. Because scriptures tell us, {James 4:2 ‘You do not have because you do not ask God’.

It is not our battle to fight. It is not. It is His battle. So why not relieve yourself of this burden and bring before Him your heaviness. After all, our God is bigger than all of our problems. Lay it down before Him. Lay it down. No problem is too small or too big for Him. Is it the uncertainty of the future? Is it the temptation of money? Is it the  love for the things of the world? Small or big, it is of the same magnitude to Him who loves us!

And if you need a scripture to assure you of His ability to take this load off you…

Come to me , all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. {Mathew 11: 28-30}

For the ability to come before Him and find rest is a privilege, a privilege you have when you are the child of The Most High God. Isn’t that an amazing privilege?

Are you burdened? I urge you to spend time in His presence, praying these scriptures, and bringing your hearts burdens before Him, for it is not your battle to fight. It is His, and He only wants you to ask and allow Him to fight it for you!

I hope you find encouragement in this post!

Be blessed xox

Monica 

Human connections. Three ways to help get back to basics.

Leave a comment August 29, 2015 - Monica -

In the recent few weeks, I have somehow become a lot more aware of my surroundings. Be it people, the environment I live in. The what goes into our mouths, the what we are using around the house. The impact it has on the now and how it’s going to improve or destroy what we may enjoy in the future. Thought provoking I think?

What I’ve come to realise is this. As I have increased in age, my priorities have shifted. What used to be important to me few years ago, seems rather small now. I find that I am now reverting back to basics, and the important things now seem pretty basic, however perhaps it got lost along the way with life? Maybe. But I am now consciously taking steps to improve on these basics. The basics of human connections.

Being present in human relationships; Seems pretty basic don’t you think? Yes it does! But technology has in it’s own ways done slight damage to this. Guilty of this, we often find ourselves staring at our smart phones when we are with others, or perhaps even sitting together for a movie night, only to have one member of the family jump onto their iPad! Everything seems more important than the now. The now of enjoying an activity together, the now of pretend playing with a little one. Recently, I took the little one out for lunch, just me and her. And was I tempted to access the free wifi there? You bet I was! But but but, I consciously stopped myself. I even kept the phone away so I won’t be tempted. It was a beautiful time of us talking, or me role modelling to my daughter what it is like to talk. To share.

Growing Relationships; How easy it is to forget what it feels like to sit in front of a friend and have a real chat? Very. Easy. But the real emotions of someone, the true picture of life can only be seen when one is present. I challenge you to get in touch with a friend you often message over the phone and organise a day out. To the local caf or invite them over for coffee. Trust me, it is different. Yesterday I met a friend and we had green tea and strawberries. It was simple, fulfilling chat. Why not plan a lovely dinner out with your spouse? If that is not possible for your current lifestyle, perhaps a dinner together when the kids are in bed? Or a cheese platter to share while chatting?

Human touch; The human touch is comforting, and healing. It soothes a crying baby, it says ‘I care’ without too many words. Often in the busyness of daily living, we may not get many chances to give someone we love a hug or a kiss, but it is powerful. When the opportunity arises, give someone a big hug! It speaks louder than you can imagine. Here, we make it a point to give each member in the family a hug and a kiss before bed and first thing in the morning. It is a good feeling to give and to receive at the same time. It gives you a warm start to the day, knowing you have a secure relationship with one another to come back to.

So this is what I’ve come to realise. Challenging but these will help take me back to basics, the basics of human connection and forming good and healthy relationships. What you sow, you will reap they say, and I say that holds true. A relationship cared for will bring with it more value and meaning.

I hope this article has helped you in one way or another. Thank you for stopping by!

Monica xo

who’s got your back?

Leave a comment August 20, 2015 - Monica -

It’s an interesting world we live in isn’t it? Success is occasionally measured by the word ‘busy’. The busier you are, potentially the more successful you might be. The more children you have, the busier you are, the more successful you are? Or you are in a good job, you have a good family, you must be happy? Or have it all together?

Really? Do we even have to go there? But that’s ok. Me? I don’t care too much about that. What I care more about is my back. Who’s got my back? Who’s got your back? I know my job, my loved ones, my friends can be there, but oh so temporary?

Often in times of despair we run first to the phone. Guilty. Yes. I have done that. Send a friend a text message. Call someone. Ask a loved one for advice. They are all not wrong! They are great options and it’s always great to have loved ones, who help and support one another. But I have also come to understand the comfort that I receive is not often enough, or enough at that point of grief. It is often lacking. It is often short-lived. It is often worldly. It might make me feel a little less hopeless at the moment in time, but boy does it not last very long.

My comfort comes from Him and Him alone. I confess it took me many trials and painful situations to come to the point of realisation of where I was getting my comfort from. But when I realised…. when it was revealed to me. It was a comfort like none other.

At the cross, He said…’It is finished’ . It.Is. Finished. It is finished.

Our sickness. Our sadness. Our emptiness. Our sins. It is finished! He had our back then. He has our back today. And He will always have our back.

Upon this revelation, I recently came to realise yes it is absolutely essential we get our support from our loved ones, but before anything know that He has your back. He is there for you to cry out to. He knows the finish from the beginning. He knows what you can go through, He knows what breaks you. He knows what heals you. And in this knowledge I believe He will always be the only one that completely Has my back…. and yours too.

I hope you feel encouraged just as much as it has encouraged me.

                                              XOX Monica 

baking with kids? my 5 tips to a fun baking session! (from a neat freak mum)

Leave a comment August 1, 2015 - Monica -

I’ve been wanting to bake with my little one for a while, let me just say I’ve held off on the idea for many reasons. I am a super neat freak and to think of the mess afterwards was a pretty scary thought! Enough to want me to stop the idea at lets just say… that. An idea. Until today when she asked! You see before this she never asked. But today she said ‘ mummy can we bake a cupcake?’ Yikes yups!

OK. Then. We. Will. Honey!

So off mummy goes to get some ingredients, thinking how I can make this happen with stressing all parties involved!

My 5 tips?

1. Pick a right time. Don’t Rush the process. 

Thankfully she asked on a quiet Saturday afternoon when we didn’t have much planned. But I think leaving enough time is key. If the recipe says 30 mins prep time, double or triple that time. That way you and little one aren’t rushing through it, and trust me it does make a huge difference to the stress levels! Keep it fun, keep it going at the little ones pace.

2. Pick your battles.

I had to let a few things go today. She whipped! Not mess free but that’s ok. She sieved. Not mess free again! We had flour outside the mixing bowl, but OK mummy breathe! It’s ok! I had to ‘let it go!’. Pick your battles. After all it’s a learning process.

3. Prepare for mess!

Mess mess mess! I kind of avoided a lot of mess by making sure I had a tea towel under the mixing bowl. You could use old newspapers or old scrap paper. And I had a bowl of warm water close by so her yucky finger could be dipped in before she touched anything else! So line the work bench! It helped me deal with the mess. All over? Into the wash it went!

4. Stop and teach. Talk the process out. The why’s, the how’s.

To be honest I really enjoyed this process. Talking her through the why and how made me realise how important this activity was! It was a great time spent together doing something fun but also a fun way to pass on some life’s skills!

5. Stop and watch.

I took a moment to soak it all in. I am big into this. I love stepping out of the picture for a while and taking it all in. Like a camera capturing this moment. It is priceless! I watched her stir and mix and pour. My baby is growing, she is learning, and I am happy to be her teacher. After all this is what it’s all about isn’t it? Passing on the skills to the next generation!

Some snaps from our fun baking afternoon together!

In the end it was all good fun! And now we sit down to enjoy the end product. A well spent Saturday afternoon.

And from a neat freak mum, I am glad to report that I survived the process, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Happy to say I’ll be doing it again soon!

Do do you often bake with your kids? How to get through it? Love it or prefer not to?

Thanks for sharing the love here!

Love, from Mons place! xo monica

 

 

 

when you feel overwhelmed. 5 things I did differently today that made it a good day.

Leave a comment July 31, 2015 - Monica -

Overwhelmed? Busy? Tired? Exhausted? Had enough? Want time out?

Familiar words? Probably few of my frequently used words. Guilty as charged!

Today I had a pretty relaxed day. Woke up spent some time with my little one, had lunch with friends, laughed and forgot the world for a while, came home and spent some time with husband and our little one, sat down together around the dining table for dinner, danced to a song on the radio (and I mean really danced! Like nobody was watching, except my little one taught it was all so funny so she danced with me), bedtime for the little one and sat down in my workspace, listening to music, reading and colouring in. That was a brilliant day! Yes!

But these days don’t come around often! In fact with hubby’s work we often don’t have him back for dinner most days. But that’s another story for another day! Eek!

Apart from having some help today why was it a good day?

Because I allowed myself to be in the present. I allowed myself to be in the moment. Granted it was my non working day, but I still believe there are pointers for me to take seriously.

Sitting here thinking what are some of the things I have done today that I should take into tomorrow?

Here are my 5 things that got me happy today!

# started off with some quality time with myself

I used my morning to pray, and spend some time singing praises. I thank the Lord for all the good things He has blessed us with. Trust me , we have been through months of hardship with health, an ongoing situation here. But in many situations I have seen His healing hands move and His grace abound in many ways to get me through the crappy days. Regardless of the struggles you are going through, hope never fails. Hope never disappoints… {Romans 5:5}. Not always easy to get these moments in the morning but I do plan to persevere on my non working days to practice this.

# spent quality time with family

This is so important. As humans we value human connection. We need to be loved as much as we need to show love. So spend time telling each other how much you appreciate one another. Do something special for your loved ones. Because love takes ‘doing’ too. Today we bought flowers and hid it around the house for daddy to find. Little one was happy she was able to surprise daddy and daddy was ecstatic with this beautiful gesture. Little things we do for one another go a long way.

# do something fun

Today I danced to ‘Islands in the stream’ by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton and I danced it with my little one. I grabbed her hands and we danced like no one was watching! That was my special moment with her. Be silly! Be a child again!

# spent some quiet moments with myself

I find this such an important exercise to keep me feeling whole. Today I did some drawing and some colouring in. Sometimes it’s a magazine or a good book with a cup of milo. It’s important. And if you can, you should try this too. Often I am interrupted by the little one, for a quick kiss and a cuddle but that’s ok. But back to ‘my moment’ I go. That’s my way of winding down for the day.

# I consciously look for ‘treasured moments’

We can’t always wait for the IT moment to celebrate. The IT moment is right there in front of you! Today is called the present for a reason. I often forget, and wait for something special to fill my day. But today I looked out for it. And it was there. Even if it’s the few minutes you speak to a friend, even if it was the few minutes you watched your loved one laugh their lungs out. These are special times. They are happening now, and I am embracing them as they pass by me. Capturing every moment with my eyes and my heart, because you and I know just how quickly these times pass. Just like that, it’s here and then it’s all but a memory. So be here. Snap your fingers and be here.

I know today is a good day because of these few things I’ve done. Every day may not present the opportunity to do all of these but I am hoping to have as many moments to feel and be here.

What are some of the ways you slow the pace down at your place?

Thank you for stopping by and sharing the love!

                            love, from my space!   xox mon

 

 

 

 

 

 

it is all laid bare.

Leave a comment July 26, 2015 - Monica -

The title is a little confronting don’t you think? But today I had a revelation of this word. So I thought I should pen it down. (or rather type it I mean)!

‘Nothing in this creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account’                                                   {Hebrew 4:13}

Even though I have read and heard this scripture many times, today was a different kind. It was a conviction. A clear revelation into the depth of this verse.

It was rather confronting I must say because sometimes I don’t realise how real this is. He knows our inner most thoughts. Even the ones we don’t speak! Being human, we can often have thoughts that are unclean, whether an ill thought of someone or a situation, or sometimes I find myself having a I-am-judging-you thought. Having the thought is one thing but entertaining it is another. And that is where we have to nip it in the butt so to speak. So this scripture reminds me that nothing is hidden from Him who created us. He knows us inside out, hence we should always speak to Him our creator. Have a relationship with Him, seek Him in all your ways, call out to Him in all your times, sad or happy. Call Him in your frustration. Because everything is laid bare in front of Him.

The last bit of this scripture that stood out for me is…. ‘to whom we must give account’…! YES! Imagine one day meeting Him and having to give account for that negative thought we entertained about someone! Or that time I thought I was better than someone else! Yikes! Would like to avoid that situation at all expense if I can!

So let’s say, with this, there is a greater need to seek His grace. Without His grace, all this is impossible. Being human, we are never perfect, but with His grace, we are perfected in everything we do.

Hope this gave you a better insight into what’s running around my head!

Have a grace-filled week friends!

xo Monica 

11 things I need you to know my dear one.

Leave a comment July 4, 2015 - Monica -

I write this post because I want my daughter to know these things. When she turns into a young adult I want her to see life not only the way a teenager sees it but I also want her to see life through my life and the lessons it has taught me.

As many of those gone before us, I know for sure there is a certain amount of wisdom that as a younger generation, we can learn from. Mistakes made that can be avoided. Life done a certain way that can be a lesson. This is not to say I want her to live her life by a set of rules, no! but I want her to know that these lessons are there to be used as a guide. A reference point.

As a mom, this is what I want her to know.

1. That in our human strength we cannot do it all. But with our mighty God, it is possible. Because His strength supersedes all the strength that we can gather. So lean on His strength.

2. Life is a fun place. Yes there are lots of evil schemes out there, but it is generally a fun place. Know your place, do the safe thing.

3. What you sow, you will reap. As some would say, do good and you will receive good. And I am a firm believer in this. It somehow comes back to you, sometimes not in the form obvious to you.

4. There are nice people out there! Find them! And love them. But there are also not very nice people around, fewer than the nice ones. Challenge yourself to love them darling,  because they all start off nice, but life’s circumstances has probably made it all too hard for them to remain that way. So be gentle, for they are hurting.

5. Loving others is not hard. It’s a decision you make, and follow through with. But again, you need Gods grace to help you do this. In our humanly spirit, we will not be able to love like that. But when we understand what He did for us, and how much He loves us, we will find it easier to love.

5. You are enough the way you are. We are all made different with different talents. Don’t try to be someone else! It’s too hard baby!

6. Have fun with life. Just take it with a pinch of salt and a dash of whatever else you like. Take it seriously, but lightly. Have respect for it.

7. Dance life out! Don’t let it dance pass you. Enjoy the music, turn it up and go with the flow. It may be a cha-cha, it may take a twist! But so long as you put one foot forward, you will go on that ride. So you might as well enjoy the moves.

8. Stop and  smell the roses sweetie. There is so much beauty around us. His creation is abundant and swollen in beauty. Look at them, get lost in the wonders of how they were created, and be in awe of such creation. Then you will know how much more special you are, His creation.

9. Take time out. You don’t always have to be with others. We all need some time alone, to connect with our spirits, to spend time with our creator. Enjoy these moments. Think of you. It’s not wrong to love yourself. No. Think of the person you are. The person you ought to be. Set goals. And work persistently towards them.

10. Pray my darling. Pray through life. Every bit of it. It is your single most powerful weapon. When you pray, He hears you. When you pray, the Heavens move. Use this time to get lost in His presence, because it is oh-so glorious. Enjoy His glory and let Him fill you with His Spirit. That experience will bring you back for more.

11. Give thanks. Even when things don’t seem to be working out the way you want it to be, give thanks. You know why? Because He has a greater plan for you. He knows the beginning from the end. So take heed, and know that He has it all worked out. His time, not your time. So in everything, give thanks.

This is my reference for you my sweet one. And I am sure there will be many more to add, but let’s say this is a good starting point!

love from your Mummy! Xx

Do you have any points to add? Do share with me!

much love xx

monica

 

 

 

 

 

 

Contented. Am I? Can I?

Leave a comment June 28, 2015 - Monica -

Lately I have been asking myself this question? Can I be content? Am I contented? What will it take to make me feel contented?

What does it mean to be contented? I often hear this word being used by people who, in my view, ‘have it all’.

I won’t lie. It has been a rather crappy May and June at Mons place HQ. We’ve had setbacks in a few areas of life. But we picked ourselves up after a few difficult weeks. I suppose at that lowest point in my life, I questioned this lots. I do have a good job, a beautiful and loving husband, an exceptionally beautiful little one, and beautiful friends around. Why then is there a longing for more? And I know I am not the only one here. I have met many in the same situation. Yes perhaps there is a part of me that wished certain things didn’t happen to us. Bad health for a bit, my chronic medical condition. Maybe there is a part of me that wished I would somehow wake up and all these things would be just a bad dream. Nonetheless, do I really believe having any of these differently is going to make me feel contented?

The more I gave this a thought the more I believed that it is not what I can do differently, rather a choice I have to make! If I don’t like something, I have to change it. And change it now. Not tomorrow. No. Today.

The more I gave it a thought, the more I knew it’s a choice I had to make. It’s a thought process. I need to see the positives in things. I need to know that what I have is sufficient for me. You see I am a believer, and I know in my spirit that He has a perfect will for each of us, and He in His perfect timing will bless us with what we need to fulfil that perfect will of His. Nothing is done in our strength and this I know. I have to keep reminding myself of this from time to time.

Learning to be contented, is a conscious decision I have to make. I want to make. I need to make . Because it’s not about needing more, it’s about being thankful for what we have when we have it, and for being in the moment to enjoy these things.

Do you struggle with the lack of being contented? Have you given it a thought? Come share with me.

Xx Monica

go on, give yourself a pat on the back!

Leave a comment June 17, 2015 - Monica -

When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back. For something good you did. For an achievement. For making someone feel good about themselves. For helping someone else out. For the good deeds you just did. For the effort you’ve put in. When was that last time?

In my recent conversation with my brother, I told him that I was embarking on a new path and taking up a new study in design. He asked me this question…’why did you decide on that?’ It took me by surprise. I didn’t quite know what to say! Yes I did have to answer that question when speaking to the course coordinator as I submitted my application. But that somehow seemed much easier. I stopped to think. I then said..’because I am good at it. I want to formalise my love for design’, and then went on to say..’I am not bragging, but I do think I have an eye for it’. He said..’GOOD! It is good to hear someone say something good of themselves. It is good to say that you are good at something. That is not bragging!’

That statement made me think. You see my brother is a man of words. He is slightly younger, but nonetheless, a wise one. He has an open mind, a very entrepreneurial one. Hence, I took those words and as I usually do, dissected every bit of it to pieces! And I mean I shredded it to pieces! And what he said was so true! We often don’t speak enough of the good things we are good at. Yes we often seek legitimacy. We want to be recognised. We want to feel deserving of our accomplishments. However, many a times, when we finally get there, we water down these efforts. We often feel like perhaps it is not something we deserved. Why is that?

I think it is time we had a long hard think of this. I have not really given this a thought. I have done many a things in my adult life, with lots of time invested in studying medicine, working as a doctor, studying a masters, then venturing into a speciality of medicine. And now I want to add to my list of skills. So I am going back to studying, But that is me, and at this point in my life, taking a slight turn in what I do, excites me. It is one that I have given a long think about, and it is time to take the plunge.

So for all that, I am giving myself a pat on the back! Come on, and join me. If you feel unsure of this, I suggest you write a list of the things you have achieved, done, done for others, sacrifices made for others, and I am absolutely certain you will see what I mean. And it is not a bout bragging or an exercise to make one feel bigger and better than others, but one to make you see, that you are what you are, for all the hard work you’ve put in. Your success is yours to keep, and a very well deserved one.

You really deserve a pat on the back!

If you would like to share your thoughts on this, I would love to know. Do you stop along the way often enough to give credit to yourself?

See you around! xo

monica

word of the week. gratitude. what it does for me.

Leave a comment June 15, 2015 - Monica -

Being thankful or grateful is something I have always strived to achieve in the last few years, however I must confess, not always successful. Why I’ve picked this saying for word of the week? I needed this! I needed to remind myself that gratitude really does open the door to abundance.

Abundance is such a subjective thing don’t you think? It can be materialistic. Yet at the same time can mean richness in life, in life’s experiences, in love, in quality of life.

In the past 8 months, my life has been turned upside down, inside out, with a recent diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes. It has been life changing to say the least (you can read about it here). It came as a shock, and there are still some days, I wonder if this is all a bad dream which will soon disappear. Sadly not. It is here and one that I have to continue to learn to live with. But now I am on a mission. I need to spread the word. I need to put on my other cap, to educate others. Enough of self-pity if I should say so myself, although there are days I prefer to just lie around feeling sorry for myself. Just for a little bit. It helps me grieve.

After all this, I still feel blessed. I know the tendency to use the term blessed loosely can take away the true meaning of it. But truly I say, I am blessed. This is because I know I can have control of it to a certain extent, with good management, a good team of specialist and educators. And you know what? We live in a country where medical research and advancements, although a lot more to be done, has come a really long way in keeping us type 1 diabetes patients alive, well and kicking. My list of reasons to be grateful is a fairly long one, but let me start.

* I live in a fairly tolerant society. There is abundance in opportunities.

* There is great medical advancements in helping people like me keep well and stay well.

* Discrimination is not an acceptable way of living.

* I have an amazing husband and child, who loves me despite the crazy ups and downs I have to go through with my medical issues.

* I have a cheerful personality that helps perk me up on those horribly hard days. Most of the times, I am able to put on loud music and dance silly like nobody is watching. Best part too, my little one loves doing this with me! Absolutely grateful for this!

* I have my faith to lean on. I know my God is bigger than any of my problems, and I can find comfort and a safe refuge in my faith, and my God.

* I have the opportunity to up-skill in areas of interest despite my age. Like I said before, there is an abundance in opportunity in this country. I am a migrant from a third world country, having come to Australia 20 years ago, I have grown to appreciate these open doors.

* I live in a safe country. Yes there are things going on around us, but I am grateful, we don’t have to fear for our lives like some other war-torn countries have to.

* I have shelter over my head, food on the table and clothes on my back.

* I have friends who walk the talk. They are a great bunch that selflessly will step in to help when help is needed.

This list is endless! Have you tried making a list of the things you are grateful for?

I tend to do this from time to time, because it helps me pick myself up when I am having one of those I-feel-so-crappy-I-just-want to curl up-and-pity myself kind of day. It really does! It may not be an instant pick-me-up-er, but the more I look at it, the more I am able to appreciate the abundance I have. It is an abundance worth celebrating. It really is.

There are lots of ways to record your gratitude. There are lots of articles and studies am sure that will support this act. Journaling. Talking about it. Writing. Reciting. Whatever way it works for you. I urge you to give it a go. I wasn’t very good with this. But once I realised how much good it did for me, it has become one of my more frequent activities.

Hope you enjoyed reading!

Love, monica